Tickets to Ayako's Recital and Destiny: Reunion sold online now!
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| Ash Mantle |
 Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 9:29 pm |
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Forum Addict
Joined: 23 Mar 2006
Posts: 173
Location: Behind you!
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Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one.
Makes you wonder which is more valuable!
After every flight, Qantas Australia pilots fill out a form, called a "gripesheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor.
Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas'
pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
By the way Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an accident.
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
And the best one for last..................
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget. |
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Eminence Staff Since 2005
-Destiny: The Dream Time Ensemble (Melbourne)
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| JellyfisH |
| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:05 pm |
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Eminence Staff
Joined: 11 Feb 2006
Posts: 340
Location: sydney
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| ahahahhahahahhhahah *wipes tear* ..... classsic |
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| cocopuk |
| Posted: Fri May 05, 2006 10:31 pm |
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Regular
Joined: 03 May 2006
Posts: 93
Location: at ............ home
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LOL! a true classic ...
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| transistor |
| Posted: Mon May 08, 2006 9:16 am |
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Seasoned Veteran
Joined: 22 Sep 2005
Posts: 434
Location: planet Earth
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hhhmmm.... another version i saw on the internet was the US air force instead of QANTAS
but hey still funny haha  |
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